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Restio sieberi
Year 2025, Issue 1, Article 6CaseAuthor: Jan Scholten
Case by Jan Scholten
Woman, 35, infertility.
She has a strong wish for children, but her husband is infertile. She thinks about sperma donation or other forms for treatment of infertility, but fears she does the wrong thing. She has nightmares of adultery. She fears that her child will be disappointment when it will not know its father.
In general she fears to disappoint people.
In her youth her mother has an affair with another man. She knew this and met him a few times. He was charming and flirting to her mother and her too. She said later to her mother that she should not be so much in love. She was now allowed to tell her father, but he knew it too. This gave so much tension, especially at the dinner table, that she hardly could eat and became very lean. She went out of her body and did not want to become adult as that would bring all kinds of dangers of relationships and sexuality. She felt completely locked in, torn apart between her parents. She could not say much, and retired in her own room. She kept herself small, benumbing herself. But she wanted to understand the situation and talked about to her mother. Then she understood that her mother was looking for a soul connection, whereas her father was much more matter of fact.AnalysisPlant kingdom: very sensitive.
Silicon series: problems in family, relationships, marriage; danger of relationships and sexuality.
Phase 2: fears to disappoint people; not doing; small.
Poales: hardly could eat, very lean, anorexia; did not want to become adult.
Phase 3: torn apart between her parents.
Stage 5: procrastinating.Follow upThe first time there was a lot of fear, a crippling fear: the feeling that I can't do anything anymore, that it's best if I don't exist (visibly) anymore, a tendency to withdraw completely, to live alone again, without bothering anyone. The feeling of 'bothering' others became very strong.I didn't dare to go to my energy therapist, actually wanted to take the train back when I was standing at her doorstep, wanted to 'turn back' my whole life, back to living alone and isolated, without interacting with the world.
My arms feel paralyzed, as if nothing more is allowed to come out of my hands, so I have very dominant, dominant thoughts that label everything I do as wrong or inferior.What I discovered through this experience was that the anxious one in me cooperates with the procrastinator; in the worst case, the procrastinator wants me to procrastinate my whole life, he makes sure that in a milder form I become a little paralyzed and that I no longer feel my willpower, and no longer dare to do anything.After the fear was over I got a lot of energy to do exactly what I wanted to do, more life energy and a desire to shape things, to do things, instead of fear to shape or 'do'.I had this dream after I took it for the first time:
I ran without fear into a dark tunnel, felt very free and loose. In the middle I got scared anyway, and someone suddenly ran towards me very quickly from the other side; it was me, but in the form of a very dark shadow, totally black; first I felt intense fear and just after that very strongly the feeling that I didn't want to run away from that fear, just decided to run towards it with energy and strength; we ran towards each other and the shadow became smaller and smaller, it dissolved in me.
Woman, 35, infertility.
She has a strong wish for children, but her husband is infertile. She thinks about sperma donation or other forms for treatment of infertility, but fears she does the wrong thing. She has nightmares of adultery. She fears that her child will be disappointment when it will not know its father.
In general she fears to disappoint people.
In her youth her mother has an affair with another man. She knew this and met him a few times. He was charming and flirting to her mother and her too. She said later to her mother that she should not be so much in love. She was now allowed to tell her father, but he knew it too. This gave so much tension, especially at the dinner table, that she hardly could eat and became very lean. She went out of her body and did not want to become adult as that would bring all kinds of dangers of relationships and sexuality. She felt completely locked in, torn apart between her parents. She could not say much, and retired in her own room. She kept herself small, benumbing herself. But she wanted to understand the situation and talked about to her mother. Then she understood that her mother was looking for a soul connection, whereas her father was much more matter of fact.AnalysisPlant kingdom: very sensitive.
Silicon series: problems in family, relationships, marriage; danger of relationships and sexuality.
Phase 2: fears to disappoint people; not doing; small.
Poales: hardly could eat, very lean, anorexia; did not want to become adult.
Phase 3: torn apart between her parents.
Stage 5: procrastinating.Follow upThe first time there was a lot of fear, a crippling fear: the feeling that I can't do anything anymore, that it's best if I don't exist (visibly) anymore, a tendency to withdraw completely, to live alone again, without bothering anyone. The feeling of 'bothering' others became very strong.I didn't dare to go to my energy therapist, actually wanted to take the train back when I was standing at her doorstep, wanted to 'turn back' my whole life, back to living alone and isolated, without interacting with the world.
My arms feel paralyzed, as if nothing more is allowed to come out of my hands, so I have very dominant, dominant thoughts that label everything I do as wrong or inferior.What I discovered through this experience was that the anxious one in me cooperates with the procrastinator; in the worst case, the procrastinator wants me to procrastinate my whole life, he makes sure that in a milder form I become a little paralyzed and that I no longer feel my willpower, and no longer dare to do anything.After the fear was over I got a lot of energy to do exactly what I wanted to do, more life energy and a desire to shape things, to do things, instead of fear to shape or 'do'.I had this dream after I took it for the first time:
I ran without fear into a dark tunnel, felt very free and loose. In the middle I got scared anyway, and someone suddenly ran towards me very quickly from the other side; it was me, but in the form of a very dark shadow, totally black; first I felt intense fear and just after that very strongly the feeling that I didn't want to run away from that fear, just decided to run towards it with energy and strength; we ran towards each other and the shadow became smaller and smaller, it dissolved in me.