Jan Scholten


They feel rejected, to the utmost. They feel there must be something very bad and dark in them to be so bullied and teased. This can be expressed in past life experiences where they have been buried alive, immured, tortured or imprisoned in dark cellars. They feel that life is a torture. Life makes no sense, is a complete distortion. The epilepsy is an expression of this feeling with very awkward and distorted position of the limbs, as if they try to fight themselves out of strong bonds, as if they are tortured.
On the other hand they have a very philosophical, religious and spiritual attitude. This state can be challenged by the horrible events in life. They can start asking what kind of world this is, with war, poverty, famine, cruelty. They can ask what kind of God it is who has made such a world. It can make them atheistic, fighting all kinds of religions and spiritual experiences.
They can also go into renunciation of life, retire in a monastery, where they do not have to have contact with people anymore, people who are hypocrites, liars and cruel. The most extreme situation is letting themselves be walled in a monastery.
Their youth was often cold, with parents being absent, or distant and cold. They have seldom been hugged, kissed, cared for, or breastfed.

Desire autonomy, freedom, at least in their mind.
Abused, lost illusions, obsessive.
Anger, rage, cursing, blasphemy.
Aversion to people, company, strangers; loner.
Mistakes between good and bad, friend or fiend.
Unfeeling, hard, cold, cynical, cruel.
Delusion: being bad, dark.
Sexual desire strong, promiscuous, or suppressed, absent.
Mentally strong, thinking constantly, sharp, clinical, scientist.
Ailments from loss of love, spouse, parents, finances, sex, incest.
Fear: disease, AIDS.
Colour preference: black.

Weather: chilly, < cold; > dark, < light.
Desire: alcohol; drugs.
Aversion: milk, mother’s milk !.
Sleep: sleepy, sleepless; comatose.

Nervous: ! epilepsy, convulsions, tonic, clonic, distorted, without aura; chorea, spasm, < sleep; paralysis, senses: acute or diminished.
Vertigo: falling, < rising, < motion, > lying.